Bat-tle against the Fat-tle....See what I did there?!

So I have just recently drafted a post - in which I explain my intentions to finally get rid off all the - post breakup, post festive, post job stress, post its Friday I should celebrate by eating a bucket of KFC downed with 2 bottles of 5th Avenue Cold Duck - weight.

In this draft, I wrote about my ups and downs - and my exact measurements and exact feelings - in a loosey goosey chronological order, punctuated with funny banter and smart similes. However something about it worried me. Not only did it detail my erratic weight distribution, but it explained at length the horrible relationship drama that caused it. Someone recently told me that I seem defeated and I carry this love gone wrong story around like a tatty old rucksack. Trust me - all my emotional baggage comes in matching Louis Vuitton. So this is why I ditched that post (as creative as it was - there was a time machine and everything!) and opted for this one - a much more light hearted yet still honest post.

Inspired by one of my favourite blogs (www.baglett.blogspot.com) I intend to also not approach life in this serious manner - but rather enjoy it (or at least try to). Dont be surprised if you see some similarities - after all - imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.....

Anyway - last year this time I was (x-15)kgs where x = Current 'Fat Ass Heffer' weight. However two years ago this time I was at my all time high of (x+20)kgs so Im still pretty ok compared to where I have been.

The goal is to get back to (x-15)kgs - and then possible lose another 8. Come on people - keep up with the Maths. Its back to school time today. Not an impossible feat as I have done it before. But Frakking Difficult! Especially for one such an undisciplined specimen such as me. Add to that my penchant for pasta - and it's going to be a long and arduous journey.

So - Let the Diary Begin.

Day one of Eternity
Weight - Someone please buzz my forklift in so I can be hauled out of my house and get to work kg's.
Actual Food so far - Protein Sandwich and 15 almonds, Green Tea.
Imagined Food so far - 1Kg King Prawns, Triple Chocolate Sundae, 5 Margaritas, Nachos Muchos Grande, After Dinner Mint.
Food to go - Carby Lunch and CabDriver Feet soup - urm I mean pea and mint Soup.
Activity Levels - Currently Schloompfing, but, will go to gym by 12pm as boss is not in.

Wow at this Rate I will be at my Mens Health photo shoot in no time!!!