Scary Movie

I dont like being scared. Infact - I would rather see a chick flick than a scary movie any day of the week(Unless its starring my hubby R-Patz). I have a very weak constitution for all things eerie and supernatural. Seriously. I threw up in the Blair Witch project. In a paper 'Sweet from Heaven' popcorn bag which I snuck into the cinema cos I was too cheap to spring for the expensive kind at the movie kiosk. Classy. When I could feel the leakage that extra R10 wasnt looking so bad....

Alas I digress again....

So i go over to the 'Married Ones' (these are the only 2 people in the world I know that actually have a happy marirage) and for some reason these two love getting the frights. Last week for instance, I was invited around for high tea on a Friday afternoon, and instead of being greeted with a scone - I entered the doorway to hell where not only was I regailed with real life ghost stories by my hosts, but there on the TV was some poor girl engaging in a meet and greet with a zombie everytime she opened a garbage bag. Instead of just living in her own filth, the teenager continued to take the trash out expectantly waiting for another crap your pants inducing creature to pop out and scare the bejeeebers out of her.

So yesterday the lady Married one calls me and asks for some company as the man Married one has been working late all work and last night was to be no different. The lady Married one does not like being alone, and is, yes wait for it.....scared! So I go over, smokes in one hand, red velvet cupcakes in the other and walk in to find.....Another freaking HORROR movie on the TV trying to disguise itself as ambient background music.....

Me: Uhm..... WTF is that?
LMO: hahhahahahaah
Me: Didnt you call me over cos you are scared?
LMO: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Me: Then why the freaking heck is that blonde chickie spinning her hair around and screaming?
LMO: Oh shut up man - lets go smoke....

We sat outside in the airless summer heat, smoking nonchalantly, but in the corner of my eye I could still see the freakish lady doing what can only be descibed as a mash up of Michael Jackson's Thriller and Lionel Richies Dancing on the Ceiling....

After the man Married One arrvied, I left and was sure I could see a pair of eyes on my back seat. After letting out a horrifyingly blood curdling scream I realised it was only my eyes in the rear view mirror that caused the reaction. Oooh Sexy i though as I composed myself.

In any event there is a far more chilling fate awaiting me. On monday the boss man is back.

Eek.