Traffic

Its back people -

Like the cockroach under the fridge that just wont die - the Joburg Traffic is back. Describing this morning as painful and 'vein opening inducing' would be the understatement of the year. It wouldnt be unfair to say that the rush hour traffic is the bane of my existance - considering that there was more space between my foot and the accelerator then there was between my car and the one in front of me - I think I am justified in my analysis.

As I sang completely off key to distract myself from the fact that I was still single, still in a terrible job and worst of all, that I was still hovering at Marlboro Drive for the last twenty minutes, I cocked my head to the side, to see.....a real hottie patottie. Not quite in the league of my beloved Edward Cullen, although he could have passed for a second cousin twice removed.

Having roused the suspicions of the HP (well not so much roused as 'freaked the living crap out of him' by donning my monacle for a closer look) he tried to speed up. Not willing to let my chance at marriage get away on the M1, I followed intently. As we came to another deadlock, I knew I had to talk to him.

Me: Hi - Hey - ....HELLLLLLLO CAN YOU HEAR ME.....
HP : (Puts window down cautiously) Uhm - Can I help you?
Me: YES!!!! Are you SINGLE?
HP: Uhm..... Yes......
Me: STRAAAAAAAAAAIGHT?
HP: Yes - Im heading straight -
Me: NO!!!!! Are you STRAAAAAAAIGHT?
HP: Uhm.... No....... You?
Me: The home affairs office is at this off ramp - shall we go get registered?
HP: Uhm... Would you like a tissue - You appear to be drowning in your own drool....
Me: Forget that!!! Where would you like to honeymoon?
HP: The traffic is moving - BYEEE!!!!!!!!!

He zoomed off with a rather deer in the head light-ish look. Horrified at being jilted on my own wedding day, I changed the song to a dark and moody love song, wiped away the tears and reminisced over the happy memories shared between me and my almost husband.