High Tea and Scones

Good god its been a while - there are quite a few posts that I have meant to blog about but been lazy with - so Im going to shoot them out one after the other until I feel up to date.

I last wrote about the festivities around my birthday. Being me, it had to be a month long string of celebrations, and what better way to spend an afternoon than being treated to high tea at the Westcliffe by the Cool Sister.

I felt like I was nowhere near Joburg when the transfer vehicle picked us up at reception and drove up a 90 degree incline into a deep forest. Having what I can only describe as guilty pleasures in forests in my past, I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by a waitron with an apron as crisp as a Crinkle Cut and as white as a Ku Klux Klan member. He kindly pointed out that it was a 'self serve all you can eat tea buffet' and we could order refreshments at our table. Completely oblivious to the words being said past the point of 'all you can eat' I circled the buffet.

What stood there was the most opulent and decadent display of pastries and cakes I had ever seen. The cool sis and I once had tea at the Ritz, but did somehow manage to keep some degree of composure due to the snooty waiter decanting one macaroon at a time into our dainty saucers. This time however, it was all free game. Now I must point out that I am not one for sweet treats. Give me a loaf of bread and a pot of pasta anyday. But being of Asian descent, I felt the uncontrollable urge to stuff custard confectionaries in any and every conceivable crevice take over.

Ten minutes,5 quiches, 8 cucumber sandwiches, 2 slices of carrot and chocolate cake, 1 scone and 3 pots of tea later, and I was man down. The Cool sister was even worse, complaining that she could feel an absyss under her arm beating as a result of all the sugar.

Another 20 minutes later and I was convinced the spots I was seeing was the precursor to a diabetic coma. I still however made a b-line to the cheese board. 30 minutes later and I was escorted off the premises, but I took solace in the fact taht I had the entire danish isle of Woolworths sandton down my skants.